Does President Obama Have to Smack A Bitch?

BP done 'effed up now, making the FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT cuss on the Today Show (SMH).





 You see him trying to keep his composure?  He's the President of the United States of America, he can't "BRING THE PAIN" with Matt Lauer from the today show.

See when he say's, "I'm going to push back hard on this...I was out there a month ago talking IN THE RAIN... I don't sit around talking to experts because this is a college seminar..."

REAL WORLD TRANSLATION: BP FUCKED UP, and they think it's sweet but I went down when the shit first popped off and I'm tired of playing games, ya dig.

Tony Hayward, CEO of BP, must think we're playing games over here.
"We're sorry for the massive disruption it's caused to their lives," Hayward said."There's no one who wants this thing over more than I do, I'd like my life back." Direct quote, courtesy of USA Today, content.usatoday.com

Ummph!

But on the real, they really need to get their lives together on this one because the failure of the Gulf Coast will have far reaching implications for the greater economy.  Real Talk, ya' dig!

SMH @ TLC

Aw hell nawl!

Why does TLC have a show called MALL COPS? Yeah, I said it, “TLC has a show on cable called mutha#@%in’ >>MALL COPS<<. Alert All Passengers; we’ve officially reached the final destination of reality television. And as if the shear existence of such a show weren’t enough of a reason to be a spectacle, they brought on Sarah Palin.
REAL "info" description from cable listing: 'Sarah Palin comes to Mall of America and the Mall Cops are stretched to their breaking point as they confront passionate followers, protesters, and a bounty hunter.'

Shoot! Laugh if you want to but girlfriend is trying to rally Middle America one mall at a time. Sarah’s in her bag, I wonder if she listens to trap or die music while she on the stroll, hustlin’ for them votes. SMH.

I couldn’t make this stuff up folks, trust! But seriously, I'm going to need TLC to go sit down somewhere. Everybody knows mall cops/security guards already suffer from an inferiority complex that manifests in them being all extra at the store.

TLC is definitely doing too much, following dudes around the parking lot on segways and "policing" bathroom stalls. Why not show the real deal? Where's the footage of the guy trying to "holla" at a P.Y.T. while he's on the clock, the security guard sleeping hard as hell (my personal favorite), or that security guard who is "old as crop dust" and ain't bout to catch a bullet for no part-time.

Things Black People Like: All White Parties

If you've ever had the pleasure of being a close affiliate of a black person or currently enjoy the privilege of being a black person, then you already know: BLACK FOLK'S LOVE OURSELVES SOME WHITE PARTIES!

Summer comes but only once a year and hence the opportunity to "shit on em" like extras in a Bryant McKnight video. Pick your poison:linen, cotton, silk, polyester (dare I say).

So, if you are going to wear linen, cop an iron + starch (that especially goes for my white folks, as a graduate of a PWI and an all white private high school I know that some of us have an aversion to ironing). And while we are on the subject of linen, BLACK MEN, if you're under 50 leave the straw hats and orange gators at home. No one wants to be hit on by some dude that looks like Ronald Isley.

It's pretty much all fair game @ an ALL WHITE PARTY. Well, not everything...pick your garment carefully or you could end up looking like a church usher or an extra in a wedding album. Remember, the ALL WHITE PARTY is a rite of passage on the road to becoming GROWN AND SEXY for black folk. So please, don't mess up ya' sexy by forgetting to remove the tags from your new gear (everything shows up on white).



Secondly, please make sure that your whites match! I don't care how dark it is in the club, linen shorts will never look good paired with a silk shirt (smh). Note, while you may be required to stick to an ALL WHITE dress code, feel free to add a splash of color here and there, but don't get too crazy. Oh, and if you were born with over active sweat glans, you might want to decline your invitation altogether. Ain't nobody sexy with juicy pits.

And while were on the subject of stains: CHOOSE YOUR DRINKS CAREFULLY. We know you goin' to be getting your drink on while rocking the celestial gear but steer clear of the Vodka+Cranberries, Chocolate Martinis, and the "Easy Jesus," unless you want to be turning tricks for dry cleaning bills.

I have no idea why Black folks simply adore ALL WHITE PARTIES. Perhaps we wish to formally inaugurate summer or maybe were just sucka's for irony and enjoy tempting fate by by wearing all white in the peak of BBQ season.